10/2/2000, Wash DC - Several dozen bureaucrats from the State Dept. and BATF
were rounded up and arrested today for attempting to vandalize the historic
old naval vessel, the USS Constitution.
Angry citizens gathered outside their federal buildings in D.C., while
government officials pleaded for calm on live television. In an impromptu
news conference a visibly nervous President Clinton said he was advised the
old warship had been improperly placed on public display with active cannons.
These weapons, among other dangerous items on board, were now in violation
of certain policy memorandums filed by the State Dept. and BATF, he said.
President Clinton wanted people to know he was out of town at the time these
memos originated and has no recollection of any involvement. The President
then left the conference abruptly without answering any further questions.
At the State Dept., Senior staff counsel, Blakely S. Highbottoms, Esq.,
explained the State Dept.s position to reporters. "In accordance with our
interpretation of our very specific and most recent policy on such
Significant Military Equipment, (hereafter referred to as SME) the
warship...... the USS Constitution, was a public safety hazard, given her
present condition of being perfectly seaworthy and armed with weaponry. In
short she was just another piece of SME and she needed de-milling.
Therefore...... certain federal administrators, believing they were acting in
the best interests of the public, ordered the old ship to be sawed in half at
the keel, from bow to stern and once again amidships. Her cannons were to be
cut into safe, non-useable pieces and her masts reduced to no higher than 4
feet. Of course, after this proper de-milling was completed, she would have
been returned once again for public display, albeit in a manner appropriate
to protect the public from harm."
In closing remarks, Highbottoms added that he too was out of town at the time
the memos were drafted and he has no recollection of any involvement.
_____________________
January, 2001........2 days after taking off President Bush, assigned newly
appointed Federal Prosecutors to seek additional charges against the indicted
federal bureaucrats, demanding that the bureaucrats be de-milled(1) in a
manner appropriate to protect the public from harm.
1. (Hey...that means they lost their jobs ok? Don't get me in trouble here!
lol I don't want my computer to get demilled or worse! )
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Sat Sep 02 2000 - 09:32:24 PDT