Wherever and whenever you order parts for your HMV there will always be one
less in stock than the total number that you need.
An HMV restorer's eyes are always bigger than his wallet.
An HMV restorer's heart is always bigger than his head.
An HMV lover always takes the $25 dollar helicopter ride at the county fair.
(You can check for hidden treasures easier that way.) This is also what
Ultralights and sunny days were designed for.
Four year olds are perfect for retrieving tools from beneath your HMV
project. This is one of the few things that gives them a sense of purpose
in their life at this age.
The weather will turn to crap on the few days that you have available to
work on your HMV project. Typically, it will rain on your days off.
It frequently costs as much (and is better) to buy a specialized tool and do
a task yourself as it is to pay to have the job done. Besides, you get to
keep the tool.
Tall toolboxes are impressive to look at but are impractical if you can't
see into the top trays and drawers.
Spouses of HMV restorers know that we go on Sunday drives only to look for
hidden treasures. < AND > Serious HMV restorers always keep a small pair of
binoculars and a notepad/pencil in the glovebox.
Never pay more for "potential" or for "sentimental value." Never violate
this rule.
If you are trying to work on your HMV project while babysitting, the child
will get start crying inconsolably at the very moment your hands are
fantastically filty.
At some time your spouse will give your child a tool "to help daddy" work on
the HMV. The child will invariably chip away with it on an exposed, painted
surface. Your spouse will do nothing to stop this and will look lovingly at
your offspring, clasp her hands to her bosom and exclaim, "Isn't that CUTE!"
Count to ten while formulating an appropriate response.
Some tools that are made in China actually work and will serve the
occasional HMV restorer well. But only SOME.
HMV restorers keep their favorite tools in places of honor.
W.W.II tool wraps are as useful today as they were then.
Where rust is an issue, commercial bodied HMV's are a pain in the ass.
If you always wanted (for example) a half-track, and you find, say, a decent
half-track headlight at the flea market for cheap.....go ahead an buy it.
It may be enough to quell the urge, thereby saving you thousands of dollars
and allowing your children to go to college someday. Otherwise, you could
call it a good start and besides, having half-track parts laying about
really impresses some folks.
Someone will come to you and describe what you recognize to be a rare HMV
that just came up for sale on some obscure county road but (a) "just came up
for sale" means they saw it there three years ago, or (b) they can't quite
remember which county road it was on because they had never been on it
before or (c) any combination thereof. Before you do anything try to
determine if this conversation is divine guidance or is simply the work of
Satan.
An HMV that is disassembled takes up ten to fifteen times more space than an
assembled HMV.
Many HMVs are worth in parts, than all together. Personally, I think this
is some kind of cruel joke.
Invariably, many restored parts of your HMV will find their way into your
house. This is not a bad thing and can give you hours of personal
satisfaction as you gaze upon them.
HMV restorations take on a life of their own.....and in fact, some have very
sharp teeth.
The more time you have the less money your restoration will cost.
Conversely, lots of money can make an HMV restoration short (and sweet).
If you must drive across the country to bring an HMV home, plan on stopping
by many places of interest. Invite some friends along. Road trips can be a
mini vacation and a source of endless conversation and story-telling later.
Besides, your pals can pay for some of the gas.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Mon Feb 05 2001 - 07:13:46 PST