TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH!!!
Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need
it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like
soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask. We refuse to answer.
Don't cut your hair. EVER. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is
that married women always cut their hair and by then you're stuck with her.
Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. And don't ask us what we
ARE thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel
lint, the shotgun formation or MVs.
Sunday = Wrench time
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. And by the way,
"shopping" is not the same as going to a parts swap meet, and no, we're never
going to think of it that way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want and let's be absolutely clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work
Strong hints don't work
Really obvious hints don't work. Just fraggin' say it!!!!
We don't know what day it is and never will.
Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
Peeing standing up is far more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at
choosing which pair, out of 30, would look good with that dress?
Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us
with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy
is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
Check your damn oil.
It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it
doesn't matter which quiz.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments
become null and void after 7 days.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you
sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle - we're going to anyway - it's genetic.
You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something, but not
both.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
ALL men see in 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
If it itches, it WILL be scratched. Live with it.
Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
And finally, if we ask what's wrong and you say, "Nothing", we will act like
nothing's wrong.
By the way, we know you're lying .... it's just not worth the hassle.
Finally, don't EVER say, "You love that damned Army truck more than me!" if you
aren't prepared for the truth!
Here's hoping that the ladies can take a joke,
Bill
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Tue Jun 05 2001 - 23:18:41 PDT