An interesting list. One suggestion - GUN TAPE rather than duct tape. That
is what we used in the army - it is much stronger, sticks MUCH better, and
seems to last forever! Besides, it is a subdued colour - green! I LOVE it!
Colin Macgregor Stevens
NOTE: I lost about 100 messages in early April, 11 or more messages on 2001
APR 30/May 1 and about 10 more on May 16 due to a server problem. If you
sent me a message during that time that was not answered, please resend it.
Thanks.
MVPA Member 954 (since 1977)
Editor: "Maple Leaf Up!" newsletter & Webmaster
of Western Command Military Vehicle Historical Society
(Established 1977)
Pitt Meadows (East of Vancouver but not beyond Hope)
British Columbia, CANADA
Owner of:
1944 Willys MB jeep (ex-Norway)
1942 BSA airborne bicycles (2)
Personal web site: http://bcoy1cpb.pacdat.net
E-mail: colin@pacdat.net
Club web site: http://www.westerncommand.com
----- Original Message -----
From: "Paul Cavnar" <nn7b@powernet.net>
To: "Military Vehicles Mailing List" <mil-veh@mil-veh.org>
Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2001 9:23 PM
Subject: [MV] The Ten Best Tools of All Time
> Forget the Snap-On Tools truck; it's never there when you need it.
> Besides, there are only ten things in this world you need to fix any
> car (or truck), most any place, any time.
>
> 1. DUCT TAPE: Not just a tool, a veritable Swiss Army knife in
> stickum and plastic. It's safety wire, body material, radiator
> hose, upholstery, insulation, tow rope, and more in one
> easy-to-carry package. Sure, there's a prejudice surrounding duct
> tape in concourse competitions, but in the real world everything
> from LeMans - winning Porsches to Atlas rockets - uses it by the
> yard. The only thing that can get you out of more scrapes is a
> quarter and a phone booth.
>
> 2. VICE-GRIPS: Equally adept as a wrench, hammer, pliers, baling
> wire twister, breaker-off of frozen bolts, and
> wiggle-it-till-it-falls-off tool. The heavy artillery of your
> toolbox, Vice Grips are the only tool designed expressly to fix
> things screwed up beyond repair.
>
> 3. SPRAY LUBRICANTS: A considerably cheaper alternative to new
> doors, alternators, and other squeaky items. Slicker than pig
> phlegm. Repeated soakings of WD-40 will allow the main hull bolts
> of the Andrea Dora to be removed by hand. Strangely enough, an
> integral part of these sprays is the infamous little red tube
> that flies out of the nozzle if you look at it cross-eyed, one of
> the ten worst tools of all time.
>
> 4. MARGARINE TUBS WITH CLEAR LIDS: If you spend all your time under
> the hood looking for a frendle pin that caromed off the peedle
> valve when you knocked both off the air cleaner, it's because you
> eat butter. Real mechanics consume pounds of tasteless vegetable
> oil replicas, just so they can use the empty tubs for parts
> containers afterward. (Some, of course, chuck the butter-colored
> goo altogether or use it to repack wheel bearings.) Unlike air
> cleaners and radiator lips, margarine tubs aren't connected by a
> time/space wormhole to the Parallel Universe of Lost Frendle
> Pins.
>
> 5. BIG ROCK AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD: Block up a tire. Smack corroded
> battery terminals. Pound out a dent. Bop nosy know-it-all types
> on the noodle. Scientists have yet to develop a hammer that packs
> the raw banging power of granite or limestone. This is the only
> tool with which a "made in India" emblem is not synonymous with
> the user's maiming.
>
> 6. PLASTIC ZIP TIES: After twenty years of lashing down stray hoses
> and wired with old bread ties, some genius brought a slightly
> slicked up version to the auto parts market. Fifteen zip ties can
> transform a hulking mass of amateur-quality rewiring from a
> working model of the Brazilian rain forest into something
> remotely resembling a wiring harness. Of course, it works both
> ways. When buying used cars, subtract $100.00 for each zip tie
> under the hood.
>
> 7. RIDICULOUSLY LARGE STANDARD SCREWDRIVER WITH LIFETIME GUARANTEE:
> Let's admit it. There's nothing better for prying, chiseling,
> lifting, breaking, splitting, or mutilating than a huge
> flat-bladed screwdriver, particularly when wielded with gusto and
> a big hammer. This is also the tool of choice for oil filters so
> insanely located they can only be removed by driving a stake in
> one side and out the other. If you break the screwdriver - and
> you will, just like Dad or your shop teacher said - who cares?
> It's guaranteed.
>
> 8. BAILING WIRE: Commonly known as MG muffler brackets, bailing wire
> holds anything that's too hot for tape or ties. Like duct tape,
> it's not recommended for concourse contenders since it works so
> well you'll never replace it with the right thing again. Bailing
> wire is a sentimental favorite in some circles, particularly with
> MG, Triumph, and flathead Ford set.
>
> 9. BONKING STICK: This monstrous tuning fork with devilishly pointy
> ends is technically known as a tie-rod- end separator, but how
> often do you separate tie-ends? Once every decade, if you're
> lucky. Other than medieval combat, its real use is the all
> purpose application of undue force, not unlike that of the huge
> flat-bladed screwdriver. Nature doesn't know the bent metal panel
> or frozen exhaust pipe that can stand up to a good bonking stick.
> (Can also be used to separate tie-rod ends in a pinch, of course,
> but does a lousy job of it).
>
> 10. A QUARTER (now its $0.35) AND A PHONE BOOTH: (See #1 above.)
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Thu Jul 05 2001 - 00:40:34 PDT