Hey Maxx, (obviously a serious braniac)
Do you kiss your mother with that same mouth?
Read the directions that are printed at the bottom of EVERY message you get from the list. Most primates are able to follow them, but there may be a few species that can't read Times New Roman. If that's the case, just hold your mouse like a microphone, speak in a loud plain voice directly into it, "unsubscribe me" and three days later, a large box will arrive at your home. This will contain the following:
1. One unsubscribe machine with mounting legs
2. One package of 6 pink polka dot condoms
3. A two quart water pitcher
4. A plastic funnel
5. A bar of Dial soap
6. 1 wooden ice cream spoon
7. An Eastern Airlines barf bag
Do the following:
Open the package VERY CAREFULLY! You are responsible for the machine while it is in your possession.
Get a friend to help hold up the machine while you attach the legs. Sit is next to your computer. Plug the power plug into the wall receptacle. It is VERY IMPORTANT that this receptacle has GFCI protection, as you will see later on.
Turn on the switch that says "POWER". The machine will start humming.
When the humming has stopped:
Open the package of 6 pink polka dot condoms.
Stretch one over each hand and foot.
Pull one over your head also. We are sorry that this one will fit loosely. We sent the smallest we had. However, this flaw will not interfere with UNSUBSCRIBE.
Fill the water pitcher with ICE COLD WATER ONLY.
Shave shavings from bar of dial soap with wooden ice cream spoon. You'll need a pile of shavings big enough to fill the palm of your hand.
Arrange soap shavings, water pitcher, funnel, and barf bag in a row on a small table. You'll need to have them near your computer so you can get them quickly once you begin.
To unsubscribe, do the follwing in this exact sequence:
Start windows and log onto your email provider.
1. Open your email utility.
2. Click on "new message".
3. Address message to mil-veh-off@uller.skylee.com
4. Place nothing in this message.
5. Place funnel into waist belt of pants.
6. Place soap shavings into mouth
7. Take big swallow of cold water.
8. Pour remainder of water into funnel.
Machine will begin humming again. This is normal.
9. If nausea ensues, use Eastern Airlines barf bag.
10. Click "Send" in your email program.
11. speak loudly into your mouse, "UNSUBSCRIBE".
You may now close windows.
In a few days you can check to see that you have been unsubscribed.
Meanwhile:
Unplug machine from power.
Place machine back in box EXACTLY as it was.
Replace soap, wooden ice cream spoon, and condoms with new ones. You only used five of the six condoms. You may keep the leftover condom. This is to see that your species doesn't reproduce.
Empty barf bag if you used it. It is not necessary to replace barf bag. We have lots of them.
Dry pitcher and funnel thoroughly. Replace into box.
Write your credit card number on the OUTSIDE of the return shipping label so that it can be charged for any damage to the machine while it was in your possession.
Place box on porch and a truck will arrive to pick it up.
We hope this helps with your problem. Unsubscribe machines usually work very well for problem unsubscribe situations like yours.
Best regards,
THE UNSUBSCRIBE MACHINE GROUP
In a message dated Thu, 30 Aug 2001 2:25:53 PM Eastern Daylight Time, "MAXX" <maxxs@ccbill.com> writes:
> PLEASE TAKE ME OFF THE FUCKING LIST
> I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO CANCEL FOR A MONTH GET ME OFF THIS FUCKING LIST
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Keith Byrd" <byrdhouse@netease.net>
> To: "Military Vehicles Mailing List" <mil-veh@mil-veh.org>
> Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2001 11:49 AM
> Subject: [MV] Fw: [MV] Mule manuals
>
>
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > I have the following manuals, what am I missing?
> > > >
> > > > TM 5-2805-213-14 Engine, Gasoline, 14HP
> > > > TM 2805-14/4 (Military Standard Model A042)
> > > > (Marines Tech Manual)
> > > >
> > > > TM 9-2320-246-20 Organizational Maint. Manual for
> > > > (Army Tech Manual) Truck, Platform Utility: M274A2 --
> A5
> > > >
> > > > TM 9-2320-213-10
> > > > (Only for M274 and M274A1)
> > > > (Army Tech Manual)
> > > >
> > > > TM 9-2320-246-10 Operators Manual
> > > > (Army Tech Manual)
> > > >
> > > > Thanks
> > > > Matt
> > >
> > >
> > > Matt,
> > > You may also want to get:
> > >
> > > TM 5-2805-213-24P Organizational, Direct Support and
> > > General Support
> > > Maint. Repair
> > > Parts and Special Tools for:
> > > Engine,
> Gasoline,
> > > 14 HP, A042
> > >
> > > TM 9-2320-246-34 Direct Support and General
> > Support
> > > Maint. Manual for
> > > M274A2 -- A5
> > >
> > > TM 9-2320-246-34P " " " " " Parts
> > >
> > > That about does for M274 manuals, as far as I know. If anyone has
> anything
> > > else, even MWO's, I'd like to see them or have copies.
> > > Thanks,
> > > Keith Byrd
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
> > ===Mil-Veh is a member-supported mailing list===
> > To unsubscribe, send e-mail to: <mil-veh-off@mil-veh.org>
> > To switch to the DIGEST mode, send e-mail to <mil-veh-digest@mil-veh.org>
> > To reach a human, contact <ack@mil-veh.org>
> >
>
>
> ===Mil-Veh is a member-supported mailing list===
> To unsubscribe, send e-mail to: <mil-veh-off@mil-veh.org>
> To switch to the DIGEST mode, send e-mail to <mil-veh-digest@mil-veh.org>
> To reach a human, contact <ack@mil-veh.org>
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Sun Sep 02 2001 - 11:15:41 PDT