Fw: Old Soldiers

From: J.Wiehe (j.wiehe@sympatico.ca)
Date: Sat Apr 05 2003 - 16:08:46 PST


This was passed on to me and it is to good not to
forward. Sorry that there is no vehicle content.
Jim Wiehe VA3JHW
j.wiehe@sympatico.ca

Subject: FW: Old Soldiers

>If I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those

>responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and

>Washington, D.C. But, I'm over 70 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old

>to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military.

>They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off

>to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join

>until you're at least 35. For starters:

>

>Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys
only

>think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000

>additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Young guys haven't

>lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous
soldier.

>If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission. "My back

>hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"

>

>An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war
until

>you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the

>other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a

>jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for

>the old beer belly.

>

>An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up early

>(to pee). If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd

>probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number

>would be a real brainteaser.

>

>Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting

>screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed

>a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than

>naps. They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in

>combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side

>, nor did I ever do any pushups after training. I can hear the Drill

>Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one." And the running part is

>kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

>

>An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to

>shave. To actually carry on a conversation. To wear pants without the top
of

>the butt crack showing and the boxer shorts sticking out. To learn that a

>pierced tongue catches food particles. And that a 200-watt speaker in the

>back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All great reasons to

>keep our sons at home and to learn a little more about life before sending

>them off to a possible death.

>

>Let us old guys track down those dirty, rotten cowards..

>The last thing the enemy would want to see right now

>is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.

>

>Author Unknown

>



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