From: Timothy Smith (timothy.smith1@worldnet.att.net)
Date: Mon Jun 09 2003 - 12:47:29 PDT
Spend enough time with my mother and sooner or later she'll tell you about
the first full sentence I spoke. It was a prophesy and a curse all in one
little line. When I was very little my parents gave me a large tin
locomotive. It had lights and some gizmo inside that made chugga-chugga
noises and an electric motor that made the thing go until it bumped into
something, and then it would turn and go in another direction. This was
lots of fun...for a sophisticated guy of two or three.
Spend enough time with my mother and sooner or later, she'll tell you that
my first full sentence was, "I want to see what makes the choo-choo go."
Well, I've been seeing what makes choo-choo's and other mechanical things go
for a lot of years now. Hey, I'll admit that I've taken more things apart
than I've put back together. Some might even consider that apart/back
together ratio to be indicative of a character flaw but, that one sentence
is the reason I've developed some mechanical aptitude and most certainly the
reason I've not had the common sense to avoid owning not one, but several
HMV's.
As we mv-ers know, fooling around with mechanical things does not
necessarily teach one sensibility. Take, for example, my International
truck and the upcoming local What-d'ya-call-it-fest parade next Sunday.
(Even though it has nothing to do with Father's Day, I call it the Father's
Day Parade ....I figure it lends to the grandeur of the one, big Daddy-day
of the year and after all, it ALWAYS takes place on Father's Day. The kids
don't know any different and their mother tries every year to explain that
the parade really isn't about Father's Day. But my kids, God bless 'em,
...they don't buy it. It's a parade for Fathers and that's that...) Now
our 1942 International truck is to be in the parade in just a few days and
while nothing on it requires tinkering I am, contrary to all logic,
tinkering.
As some of you know, the truck needs a hydravac. It has enough brakes right
now for creeping along at 2 MPH in a parade without the hydravac (which has
been bypassed) so going in and removing the old unit (yeah I finally found
it) would normally be no big deal, right?
The hydravac on my truck turned out to be outside the right frame rail,
beneath the cab. (Thanks to Sean for the reference photos....Like a dope, I
had been looking only between the frame rails.) It is accessible by the
removal of a rocker panel below the right cab door and the hydravac is most
easily removed by taking off the right running board as well. So far, so
good. I can do this...I have a week.
I like to work on my HMV's with standard hand tools. It is a rare occasion
that I use air tools, though I have them. I figure if some youngster in the
W.W.II Army/Navy could do it that way, so can I. Of course, he wasn't
working on a vehicle some sixty years old, so I have to deal with some
frustrations that the ordnance guys didn't. (On the other hand, I don't
have to hose body parts out of my vehicles, so I figure we're about even.)
So yesterday I grabbed my favorite wrench (and other, less esteemed tools)
and pulled the big International onto the driveway. Did you ever notice
that the geometry of any HMV is such that any forward movement in a
direction other than a straight line will cause the rear tires to pass over
any spot where there is an oil leak while the vehicle is parked?
Predictably, I ran over my sand-filled-catch-the-oil-drip bucket. It now
looks like a cartoon character that has had a safe dropped on it from a
great height. Since the truck creates it's own shade, I think the oil drips
there to deter pets in repose...in other words, it drips there so that we
MV-ers don't have to tell repeatedly tell our kids we need another cat.
Four bolts later, the rocker panel was off. TAH-DAH! There, blinking in
the bright light, then staring sullenly back at me with peeling paint and
rotting hoses, was the biggest, meanest, most technical and expensive
looking hydravac I have ever seen. Things were going well.
The leading edge of the running board is attached to the trailing edge of
the fender with three bolts. There are some wedge shaped spacers installed
to accommodate the angle of the sheet metal of the fender, relative to the
vertical edge of the running board. Through all of this passes a long bolt.
In order to provide adequate support, yet allow some movement between the
fender and running board and to reduce metal fatigue, a heavy spring is
installed on the bolt ahead of the nut so, in theory, the spring tension is
what holds things together rather than unyielding mechanical strength of a
nut and bolt alone.
Predictably, someone tightened the nut down to the point where the spring
was fully compressed. All that engineering shot down by a rube with a
wrench. But, not to be outdone, the engineers had the final laugh. The
bolt has a hole through it to accommodate a cotter pin. The engineers of
the space shuttle should have been so thoughtful. However, some sixty years
later, that cotter pin has become part of the bolt. Oh, sure, the parts of
the cotter pin that stick out of the bolt come off easily
enough...mostly...except for a little nub that (a) will effectively stop all
attempts to remove the nut and (b) defy any other attempts to remove it
(with the notable exception of a 1/8" stroke of a file for the next 30
minutes.) Thirty minutes times three bolts....laying there like a dying
cockroach. You know the position. This is how you lay on your back,
straining to keep your head and shoulders off the ground and your arms in
the air with rust particles dribbling into yours eyes and ears in order to
perform some nearly impossible task that was preordained by some guy with a
slide rule seventy years ago. I'd rather pass a kidney stone.
I'd write more about removing the running board but my wife says, like my
previous marriage I just need to get over it. So, anyway...I got the damned
thing off. One bracket holding the vac is permanently affixed to the frame
rail. The other is held in place with two big bolts. However, carefully
concealed from view, a very small bolt (having nothing to do with the
anything of any importance) was installed so that it's head barely lapped
over the edge of the bracket. Oh sure, they could have put it
anywhere....but they DIDN'T! Just let me say this about the guy who drilled
that hole and installed that bolt. His, brain, if placed on the pointy end
of a pin, would roll around like a marble on a four lane highway. On the
other hand I, a man of experience and superior intellect, struggled with
that @#$% bracket for a good solid 15 minutes before concluding that
something unseen was keeping it on there.
I got it off....don't make me talk about it any more. Did I mention that it
vomited old brake fluid out of the vacuum tube onto my right sock and into
my right shoe? Today I'll take it down to San Antonio Brake & Clutch and
plunk it onto the oil soaked counter and happily say, "Gimmee one of
these!"...because the worst is over....until the young guys crowd around the
old sage behind the counter who will look at it and give that long low
whistle that means there's more trouble ahead.....
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