From: Glen Bedel (GBedel@designforum.com)
Date: Fri Aug 01 2003 - 10:09:46 PDT
The National Research Council (NRC) has recently announced the discovery of
the heaviest chemical element yet known to science.
The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium.
Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and
224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.
However it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes
into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to
complete when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
quantity in concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
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