From: Ron (rojoha@comcast.net)
Date: Mon Jan 26 2004 - 12:25:47 PST
I think we need a little reality check here.
Of late, the number of posts concerning Deuce modifications seem to be
increasing. It's true that once you buy it, it's yours to do as you want.
Sure, it could be improved upon (ala the M35A3) but the bottom line is they
are OLD trucks. Weren't meant to go 85 MPH, 0-60 in 10 seconds, stop on a
dime, corner like a mountain bike. The tires also are a compromise. Not for
racing, not for high mileage, not for extreme traction.
She wasn't designed to be a daily driver, or a motor touring vehicle,
but a TRUCK.
It was designed to do a whole bunch of things well, not great, but well.
A true compromise to meet a TACTICAL requirement of moving STUFF over a
combination of paved, unpaved, improved and unimproved dirt roads and in
some cases, no roads. In good weather and bad, through water, and in some
cases, under water. Arctic, temperate, desert environments, sometimes all 3
in the same 24 hour period, without missing a beat. With a minimum of
preparation and maintenance, under combat conditions. A dependable,
reliable, over engineered, teenager proof, bullet proof design.
With that in mind, I offer you ....
Ode To The Deuce
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I really don't understand,
what Ya'lls trying to do!
Ya'll bought a deuce
because it was cheap.
Ya'll bought a deuce
because it was neat.
But now that you've got it
It simply won't do.
Gotta be quicker,
nimbler too!
More power is needed,
the brakes have to go.
The steerings atrocious,
wheels scuffing, Oh No!
Take off a drive shaft,
pull out an axle,
it ain't getting much better,
but then what does it matter?
A Lamborghini it ain't,
and it sure ain't no Yugo,
but here is something,
that ya'll sure oughta know.
Year after year,
she's served Uncle Sam,
Hauling bullets and beans
and a whole lota men,
doing what had to be done
with élan.
No bitching, no moaning,
year after year,
Hauling the men,
hauling the gear.
Conflicts came,
conflicts went.
But that old deuce
was always ready to dance.
She wasn't real pretty
but then nor was her job,
but she did what was needed
no weaving, no bob.
Now bought by the boys
for use as a toy,
and we all know what boys
do to their toys.
I'll chop it, I'll paint it,
the wheels- rearrange them!
Bigger engine,
super lockers,
power steering,
we'll stroke it!
But seems to me,
ya'll lost sight of the bubble.
The old girl's a VET,
seen lots of trouble.
Saw crap from us then,
seeing crap from us now.
Asking her to do things,
she shouldn't,
No way, no how.
So now how about it,
We cut her some slack.
Just take her out for a spin,
with some kids in the back.
Engine roaring and smoking,
pedal mashed to the floor,
Stroke her back into fifth,
Arm out the door.
She's been ridden hard,
and put away wet,
now put out to pasture,
by our government
But now,
She's YOUR deuce,
for fun and for play.
Do we need to modify and beat her,
force on her our way?
Why can't we just enjoy her,
as she passes her days.
A vet due her honors,
and past accolades....
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