From: m35products (m35prod@optonline.net)
Date: Mon Jan 26 2004 - 20:19:28 PST
Couldn't find anything to rhyme with "axle" huh?
----- Original Message -----
From: "Ron" <rojoha@comcast.net>
To: "Military Vehicles Mailing List" <mil-veh@mil-veh.org>
Sent: Monday, January 26, 2004 3:25 PM
Subject: [MV] Ode to the Deuce
> I think we need a little reality check here.
> Of late, the number of posts concerning Deuce modifications seem to be
> increasing. It's true that once you buy it, it's yours to do as you want.
> Sure, it could be improved upon (ala the M35A3) but the bottom line is
they
> are OLD trucks. Weren't meant to go 85 MPH, 0-60 in 10 seconds, stop on a
> dime, corner like a mountain bike. The tires also are a compromise. Not
for
> racing, not for high mileage, not for extreme traction.
> She wasn't designed to be a daily driver, or a motor touring vehicle,
> but a TRUCK.
> It was designed to do a whole bunch of things well, not great, but
well.
> A true compromise to meet a TACTICAL requirement of moving STUFF over a
> combination of paved, unpaved, improved and unimproved dirt roads and in
> some cases, no roads. In good weather and bad, through water, and in some
> cases, under water. Arctic, temperate, desert environments, sometimes all
3
> in the same 24 hour period, without missing a beat. With a minimum of
> preparation and maintenance, under combat conditions. A dependable,
> reliable, over engineered, teenager proof, bullet proof design.
> With that in mind, I offer you ....
>
> Ode To The Deuce
>
>
> Roses are red.
> Violets are blue.
> I really don't understand,
> what Ya'lls trying to do!
>
> Ya'll bought a deuce
> because it was cheap.
> Ya'll bought a deuce
> because it was neat.
>
> But now that you've got it
> It simply won't do.
> Gotta be quicker,
> nimbler too!
>
> More power is needed,
> the brakes have to go.
> The steerings atrocious,
> wheels scuffing, Oh No!
>
> Take off a drive shaft,
> pull out an axle,
> it ain't getting much better,
> but then what does it matter?
>
> A Lamborghini it ain't,
> and it sure ain't no Yugo,
> but here is something,
> that ya'll sure oughta know.
>
> Year after year,
> she's served Uncle Sam,
> Hauling bullets and beans
> and a whole lota men,
> doing what had to be done
> with élan.
>
> No bitching, no moaning,
> year after year,
> Hauling the men,
> hauling the gear.
>
> Conflicts came,
> conflicts went.
> But that old deuce
> was always ready to dance.
>
> She wasn't real pretty
> but then nor was her job,
> but she did what was needed
> no weaving, no bob.
>
> Now bought by the boys
> for use as a toy,
> and we all know what boys
> do to their toys.
> I'll chop it, I'll paint it,
> the wheels- rearrange them!
>
> Bigger engine,
> super lockers,
> power steering,
> we'll stroke it!
>
> But seems to me,
> ya'll lost sight of the bubble.
> The old girl's a VET,
> seen lots of trouble.
>
> Saw crap from us then,
> seeing crap from us now.
> Asking her to do things,
> she shouldn't,
> No way, no how.
>
> So now how about it,
> We cut her some slack.
> Just take her out for a spin,
> with some kids in the back.
>
> Engine roaring and smoking,
> pedal mashed to the floor,
> Stroke her back into fifth,
> Arm out the door.
>
> She's been ridden hard,
> and put away wet,
> now put out to pasture,
> by our government
>
>
> But now,
> She's YOUR deuce,
> for fun and for play.
> Do we need to modify and beat her,
> force on her our way?
>
> Why can't we just enjoy her,
> as she passes her days.
> A vet due her honors,
> and past accolades....
>
>
>
>
>
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