From: Ron (rojoha@adelphia.net)
Date: Fri Nov 05 2004 - 09:48:44 PST
Went into Wal Mart for saw chain (no joy) to get rid of a dead tree swaying
ominously over where I park my deuce and while wandering out passed a series
of aisle displays, one of which brought me up short. With Christmas coming,
they are dumping out the toys in HUGE pallet displays. I ignored the 1/8th
scale RC H2's and Escalades and Snowmobiles, but 'Wait!!! What the hell is
that?'...
Approximately 20 or so Ultimate Soldier 1/6th scale RC M5 Stuart
tanks!!! They are HUGE! Box weighs about 25 lbs or so, awkward as heck to
flip around to read the info on the sides.
They all were painted in a dirty splashed sand/mud pattern (rather
unattractive I thought). They have a 'Hedge Hog' cutter on the front of the
hull that is removable. But DAMN...they sure do look REAL! I then wandered
back towards the toy section (DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!!!) to see what
other items they had. Turns out that Wal Mart has a private brand label made
by 21st Century toys called Motorworks. But all the WWII Ultimate Soldier
branded M5s were in the 'ugly' dirt paint scheme. But off in a corner under
a bunch of other Motorworks and 21st Century boxes, I spied a Motorworks box
the same size as the 21st Cent Tank boxes. Moving some stuff out of the way,
I found a Green Stuart! Box was a bit beat up, so I hunted down a clerk and
asked if they had another one that wasn't so 'beat up', she wandered away
and came back and said that was the only one they had in green. Knowing full
well that the wife would pitch a fit if I ever bought a model this big, and
this expensive ($149.99), I slowly walked away. And 3 minutes later,
inexplicably found myself back in front of this box. What the heck?????
Walked away again and.... back at the box again, ala Bill Murray in Ground
Hog Day! After the 30th or so repetition I realized that if I bought it and
that allowed me to leave the damned store, I could have her return it when
she threatened divorce. No Problemo!
Wrestled it onto the cart (TOO BIG to fit in the cart!) and proceeded
towards the checkout, knocking stuff off the shelves and hitting folks
because the box is about 2.5 feet wide. No complaints from anyone though.
Could have been the moronic grin and drool.....
Some time later I find myself in the driveway (don't know how) and
decide to leave the 'thing' in the back of the truck. Booting up the 'puter,
I google the puppy and find this site:
http://www.21stcenturytoys.com/products/M5_RC_Tank.html
and click on a couple of the movies....biiiiggggg mistake.
So being a stand up family guy, realizing that there is no need for a
guy my age to require a toy like this, I followed the advice of the voices
in my head (kinda sounds like James Earl Jones talking to Luke) and did what
any of you guys would do in a situation like this. I took it out and hid it
in the barn. Right beside the 21st Century 1/6th scale White Scout Car. And
the P51, and the other stuff that only comes out when the wife and kids go
to another state for a family visit and a couple of other addicts, errr,
enthusiasts I know come over and play, in a tactical, reenactment, sorta way
with the ....well, you get the idea. Probably as close to functional armor
as I'll ever get.
I can quit this hobby any time I want to. It don't got a hold of me. No
sir, no way, no how! We can get by on day old bakery products and potted
beef. If they want fresh meat, let em catch chipmunks, or trap mice under
the drivers seats of the M35 or M37....
Help me Obi Wan.....
Ronzo the Unrepentant
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.4 : Sat May 07 2005 - 20:37:39 PDT