From: Ron (rojoha@adelphia.net)
Date: Mon Feb 20 2006 - 21:05:18 PST
Been seen a bunch of places on the net....
Enjoy, Ronzo
"If you have ever been around tanks, M1 Abrams specifically, you know what
this is all about.
You might be a tanker if...
You've ever been fined for riding with your head sticking out your
car's sun roof.
Your wife complains because the kitchen junk drawer is full of MILES
keys and heater parts.
You giggle when your hunting buddies talk about the awesome stopping
power of the .308 Winchester.
You named your son Roger.
You drive a '59 Caddy because you like "the feel of a lot of
American iron."
You announce "On the way!" before you break wind.
Instead of meeting you at the door with a cold beer after work, your
wife meets you with a can of degreaser and orders to strip before
you touch the furniture.
After returning from the field it takes you a while to get used to
food without the "diesel smoked" flavor.
After sex you make your wife wipe down the breech.
When you go duck hunting you give your dog the command "ducks! left
duck!"
You've ever referred to a infantryman as a 'crunchie'.
When buying a new car you make the salesman lay out the BII.
During intercourse you announce "On the way."
You refer to General Patton as Him.
You consider cheating on your wife Permissive TDY.
You refer to Iraq as "summer vacation."
You think of ground troops as a speed bump.
You think bad sex may just be a boresight problem.
You consider a sand table exercise as a middle east deployment.
You consider a hasty defense just aiming the gun.
When working on your car you fill out a DA 5988E.
A pillow is nice, but a CVC is better.
You think 19Kilo should be 19Sweep or 19Broom.
You wish your POV had Tac Idle.
You get mad when NOMEX is referred to as the tanker suit.
You volunteer to fuel up a car.
You have a BBQ and invite all three of your friends.
You rank monster trucks between a Bradley and a M1 tank.
You carry a tanker bar in your POV.
You think hot spots are targets, not clubs.
You wish Suburbans weren't so expensive.
Before your son/daughter can use your car they must complete a
request for dispatch.
You think PT means Personal Training.
You always set 4 places at the dinner table.
You don't buy gas for your car, instead you "top off"
Your kids call the sandbox "NTC".
Your older kids call the youngest one "Cherry".
When your family gets together you call them "Slice Elements".
Your dog's name is Sabot.
You think a hammer is a precision instrument.
Your idea of a hike is carrying your bags from the POV parking lot
to the tank line.
If you go to a fireworks show and feel disappointed that the noise
wasn't loud enough.
If you think a Ranger is nothing more than a pick-up truck.
If you think the concept of dismount is the eighth deadly sin.
If you think JP8 and GAA are two of the four basic food groups.
If you see a monster truck stuck in the mud and say, "That's
nothin', I once had my tank buried so bad . . ."
If you've lost headgear due to a large caliber bullet.
If going to the field means bringing the grill and all the fixin's
for a barbecue.
If you believed that the maker of smoke grenade launchers actually
planned it so a six pack of 12oz sodas would fit perfectly in each
launcher.
If you think that infantry are only curious looking hot spots for
machine gun practice at 800m
If you use Chem-Lites to decorate your Christmas tree.
If you can make the transition from driving to sleeping with just
the flip of a wrist.
If you have ever been startled out of sleep and
shouted, "Identified!"
If the only thing that truly terrifies you is what might be crawling
on the ground.
If the EPA knows you by your first name.
If you think the best way to handle a fuel spill is to kick dust
over it and move out before anyone notices.
If you think there is no such thing as "Too much Ammo."
If you think a good OPORD is "Move north and kill everything."
The only ashtrays at home are 120mm aft caps.
You're always accusing your wife of turning the volume down on the
TV, telephone, doorbell, etc.
You refer to Fort Knox as home.
You consider four as the right number of people to have in a family.
The only kind of scouts you are aware of are Boy Scouts and Girl
Scouts.
"up" is no longer a direction to you.
You believe a hammer can fix anything.
You drive everywhere, even if it's two houses down.
Your wife is always reminding you to bring the lounge chairs and
cooler home.
You sleep better sitting in your chair than you do in your bed.
You can sleep through the worst thunderstorm but wake up immediately
when your clock radio goes off.
You believe radial tires are overrated.
Your hunting dog obeys such commands as: "halt", "traverse
left/right", "forward" and "identified".
You were doing drive-by shootings before they were a fad.
You think nothing of your kids peeing off the porch instead of using
the bathroom.
You use old track to surround your wife's small garden.
You replace all your wife's flower vases with shinier ones after
each gunnery exercise.
You get mad whenever your wife puts anything away and it's not by
the load plan.
It takes you a few extra minutes in the morning to remember that the
throttle for your car is on the floor.
You use your child's telescope to track passing cars.
Your child's first words are "Not my echelon".
You believe that a combat load should not interfere with the amount
of coffee and pogey bait you pack.
You would help your kids with math if only you had all your fingers.
You always park the car in the brush.
You drive to work in the low ground.
You have trouble with words that have more than one syllable.
You tighten all the lug nuts on your car before starting it.
You always make last minute turns because you forget the car can't
pivot."
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.4 : Tue Jul 18 2006 - 21:41:04 PDT