From: Kent Schaffer (santoken@bright.net)
Date: Fri Mar 31 2006 - 19:56:50 PST
OH...MY...GOD!!!!
Man, now that's funny!!!
Kent
Sonny Heath wrote:
> I hauled this home in my M998 today,
>
> "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these
> drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by
> prostitutes." --Mark Twain.
>
> "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French
> one behind me." --General George S. Patton.
>
> "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
> accordion." --Norman Schwartzkopf.
>
> "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
> --Marge Simpson
>
> "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." --Jacques Chirac,
> President of France
>
> "As far as France is concerned, you're right." --Rush Limbaugh,
>
> "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is
> sitting in Paris sipping coffee." --Regis Philbin.
>
> "The French are a smallish, monkey-looki ng bunch and not dressed any
> better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit
> outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more
> stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I
> don't know." --P.J O'Rourke (1989).
>
> "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of
> the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't
> have the face for it." --John McCain, U.S. Senator
>
> "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he
> hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French,
> people." --Conan O'Brien
>
> "I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get
> Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out
> of France either" --Jay Leno.
>
> "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into
> Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman
>
> "Only thin g worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in
> Canada." --Ted Nugent.
>
> "War without France would be like ... uh ... World War II."
>
> "The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that
> says 'First Iraq, then France.'" --Tom Brokaw.
>
> "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of
> its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the
> Nazis?" --Dennis Miller.
>
> "It is important to remember that the French have always been there
> when they needed us." --Alan Kent
>
> "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for
> an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag,
> and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." --Argus Hamilton
>
> "Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being
> advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot.
> Dropped once'." --Rep. Roy Blount (MO)
> "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found
> truffles in Iraq." --Dennis Miller
>
> Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered
> the city in WWII?
>
> A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?
>
> "Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not
> known, it's never been tried." --Rep. Roy Blount (MO)
>
> "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in
> WWII? And that's because it was raining." --John Xereas, Manager, DC
> Improv.
>
> The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the
> London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to
> Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and
> Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent
> fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
> disabling their military.
>
> French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney - (AP), Paris, March 5, 2003
>
> The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the
> use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a
> nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside
> of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to
> surrender to a group of Czech tourists.
>
>
> Sonny
>
>
>
>
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