From: Bruce Beattie (bruce@eecs.berkeley.edu)
Date: Tue Apr 02 2002 - 17:45:55 PST
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.4 : Sun Apr 07 2002 - 23:57:19 PDT