From: m35products (m35prod@optonline.net)
Date: Mon May 10 2004 - 12:07:45 PDT
1 Leave them unpowered, by a hidden switch.
2 Explain that they are "dummies" for display only.
3 If they don't know what a dummy is, hold up a mirror.
apb
PS I was once a member of a blue-grass band who was invited to travel from
our college in NY state to play in a coffehouse in Montreal. We had to list
every musical instrument on a form, that was filled out by the border
guards. Among the items: "one bango."
apb
----- Original Message -----
From: "chance wolf" <chance_wolf@shaw.ca>
To: "Military Vehicles Mailing List" <mil-veh@mil-veh.org>
Sent: Monday, May 10, 2004 1:48 PM
Subject: [MV] Homeland Security Needs Your Help
> They need your help to carry out their mandate without acting like a pack
of
> jackbooted Rottweilers.
>
> I'm sending this to both the military vehicles group and the armyradios
one,
> because I know collectors from each like to cross the border and attend
> events in the neighbouring nation, and would like to do so without having
to
> deal with the nonsense I had to put up with on the way back to Canada from
> an event in Washington State.
>
> Three of us headed down to a Puget Sound Military Vehicle Collectors Club
> event at Fort Ebey, WA from our club up here in Vancouver, B.C, and two of
> us convoyed back Sunday night in the form of a 1941 K-18 Radio Van driven
by
> a friend, and my own 1985 M1009 Blazer. As we're approaching the Canadian
> Border, we see that U.S. Customs has a checkpoint staffed with four
> individuals who are stopping Canada-bound motorists at random and asking a
> few questions. My friend's 1941 truck with "U.S. Army" and white stars
all
> over it pulls into the duty-free without even being stopped, where I'm
> motioned to the side of the road instantly by U.S. Customs as though I'd
> just run over a favourite pet. For background at this point, my 1009
sports
> the stock camouflage job, two MX-6707 mounts and antennas either side, a
> rear mount for the AB-652 and copper whip, one RT-246, one RT-524, and the
> associated cables and junction boxes. Here's the exchange between the
U.S.
> Customs guy and myself:
>
> Customs: "What's with the truck?"
>
> Me: "What do you mean?"
>
> Guy looks around, and touches the MX-6707 mount on the driver's side. In
> the mirror I can see Rottweilers 3, 4 and 5 wiggling antennas and
> conversationally telling each other "he can't have this stuff".
>
> Customs: "Where are you going with all this?"
> Me: "Canada."
> Customs: "And why are we going to Canada?" (like the B.C. Plates didn't
give
> it away??)
> Me: "Because I live there?"
> Customs: "Are you a member of the Canadian Military?"
> Me: "Not anymore."
> Customs: "Then what's with all this gear?"
> Me: "I'm a collector."
> Customs: "Are you familiar with the term 'State Department'?"
> Me: "Sure. Why."
> Customs: "Because you're not allowed to export military technology. You
> need a licence. Do you know what I mean by a licence? Where'd you get
all
> this?"
> Me: "Other collectors in Canada, sometimes Ebay..."
> Customs: "Where'd you get the truck?"
> Me: "Government Liquidation."
> Customs: "But all this stuff wasn't on it."
> Me: "No. I put it all on later."
> Customs: "You can't have all this."
> Me: "Yes I can. It's perfectly legal."
> Customs: "You can't import it or export it without a permit."
> Me: "Nothing's being imported or exported here."
> Customs: <condescendingly and loudly> "Well it's here in the U.S! You
> imported it illegally! Please step out of the car, Sir, and go into the
> building..."
>
> I get out. The rest of the Pack begins flicking switches and playing with
> stuff. On the way to the Customs Office, Rottweiler #1 raises his tone
and
> tries to up the psychological ante.
>
> Customs: "You imported controlled U.S. Military Technology illegally and
are
> trying to export it illegally. You need a State Department Licence!"
> Me: "I'm doing no such thing. Canada used those radios too. I've had
them
> for four years. I'm bringing back nothing I didn't have with me when I
came
> down apart from three cans of beer."
> Customs: "You told me you got them off Ebay!"
>
> I stop mid-escort and turn to face the guy.
>
> Me: "No. I said I get *some* stuff on Ebay. And some from fellow
collectors.
> But not those radios. They're Canadian."
>
> Rottweiler #1 closes the physical distance with the "just you try
> something!" look on his face, puts his arm up behind my back, and makes it
> pretty clear I was supposed to be making my case mid-stride without making
> any sort of eye-contact.
>
> Customs: "Then they'll have Canadian serial numbers."
> Me: "No such thing. We bought them off the American Gov't and..."
> Customs: "THERE! SEE! That goes right back to what I was sayin'."
> Me: <incredulously> "..in *1971*!!!!???"
> Customs: "It doesn't make any difference. We'll check it all out. Have a
> seat."
>
> Rottweiler #1 joins the rest of the Hounds of the Baskervilles and crawls
> over the vehicle, playing with knobs and switches and microphones like 6
yr
> olds left to entertain themselves by irresponsible parents in the toy
aisle
> of WalMart. Rottweiler #1 comes back and asks me if "they work."
>
> "One does, one doesn't", I reply.
>
> He goes back out for another round of playing. I stare at the stuffed
Eagle
> spreading its wings in Freedom above the Customs counter, then look
outside
> past a waving Stars'n'Stripes towards the blue-suited Rottweilers,
> marvelling at the stark contrast between Freedom's ideals and the actions
of
> its uniformed representatives. About 30-35 minutes goes by, and
Rottweiler
> #1 reappears behind the counter and proffers my Driver's License with a
> "you're free to go", but not a word more. My guess would be he spent a
few
> minutes on the phone diluting his ignorance in a few words with someone
more
> rational and senior, but I strongly believe that those few minutes
would've
> been better off spent in training BEFORE sending people like that to the
> 49th parallel, rather than leave returning Canadians with vivid memories
of
> incidents like this. When I got back into my vehicle, they'd flicked
every
> switch they could flick just to "see what happens". Fortunately the
radios
> were designed to be coincidentally both Soldier and Rottweiler-proof,
> elsewise I might've been stuck with damages I had no part in creating.
>
> On the upside, and primarily of interest to the Mil Vehicles mob, we had a
> great time at Ft. Ebey with the Puget Sound collectors, and it's nice to
see
> so many collectors take their vehicles and accessories "out" for the
public
> to enjoy on events like that. They also refused to let us help out with
the
> group campsite fee, and were excellent hosts all round. Thanks for the
> invite! I'll still come down to the Arlington Airshow for the reasons I
> usually go down, but now I have another reason equally compelling, as it's
> been quite some time since I've been afraid of the Big Bad Wolf no matter
> how loud he barks, and I don't suffer bullies of any stripe whatsoever.
>
> I'd sign my name but I don't want want the "Non-Patriot!" flag popping up
> beside my Driver's License number on any more NSA computers than
absolutely
> necessary, so, lessee....
>
> Yours Truly,
>
> er...Thomas Paine, esq.
>
> (in anticipation of a few responses backing up their actions: no, I wasn't
> "being smart"; yes, I was very polite; no I'm not "on the computer"; no, I
> wasn't dressed "like Rambo"; yes, I cross fairly often. I'm sure I missed
> some, but you get the general idea.)
>
>
>
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